FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

General FAQs

  • Founded in 2000 by Barbie Adler, Selective Search is the nation’s leading luxury matchmaking firm, with clients and candidates throughout the country.

    At 87%, Selective Search has the highest success rates in the industry; a product of the company’s proven Meet Your Future process which combines sophisticated algorithms and executive recruiting methodologies with traditional matchmaking intuition. We’ve built the largest proprietary network of over 250,000 quality candidates. Selective Search has accounted for over 4,000 (and counting) happy, committed couples.

    Our goal is to connect you with the love of your life, while you’re busy living your life. Selective Search is the nation’s most trusted matchmaking firm.

  • Many successful individuals find they have everything they could wish for in life except for what matters most: the love of an extraordinary partner. Successful people like you work with countless industry experts in other aspects of your life: be it an attorney, a health and fitness coach, or a wealth advisor.

    It’s time to allow Selective Search to find the love of your life; because you’re single and you don’t want to compromise, and you shouldn’t have to. Selective Search honors your preferences and doesn’t judge them. We don’t consider it “picky” to have preferences about age, religion, ethnicity, education, physical appearance, lifestyle, values, personality type, or whatever may be important to you. It’s not a question of if we can find “the one” — it’s simply when would you like to meet them.

  • In one word, results.

    As the nation’s leading boutique matchmaking firm since 2000, we have the highest success rate in the industry at 87%. To date, we are responsible for over 4,000 couples who are engaged or living together — because success means different things to our clients and candidates. Additionally, 34% of our clients find love with their first date. Selective Search also has a Better Business Bureau rating of A+.

  • A proven, six-step process marrying the best of executive search and matchmaking.

    The Meet Your Future process was developed from an expansive study of relevant industries such as: executive search, psychology, traditional matchmaking, and sociology. We continue to evolve and develop our best-in-class methods.

  • Client

    Clients are men and women who retain our services through a premium fee-based membership. Much like executive search, pricing is dynamic and considers the scope and complexity of each individual search. Selective Search works with clients through a defined contract. Each contract is for a finite number of introductions over a defined period of time. Introductions may be with other clients, from our candidate database, or recruited specifically for you from our extensive networks or through custom marketing efforts. Our concierge-caliber approach truly demonstrates that results are a function of investment. Selective Search clients don’t have trouble finding dates, they simply do not have the time to waste on dates without long-term potential.

    Candidate

    Our candidate program is designed for high-caliber men and women who are ready for a long-term, committed relationship, but are not yet ready to invest in a client membership. This program is 100% complimentary – no fees to join and no fees to match. Upon completing a confidential profile, candidates are eligible to be matched with Selective Search clients. However, as a candidate, our Matchmakers will only reach out to you when they have identified a two-way fit with one of our clients. While we may not have a match for you right away, we are always working with new clients who may be the perfect match for you. As a Selective Search candidate, you have nothing to lose and the love of your life to gain.

  • Selective Search works with quality individuals across the country. Our clients and candidates live in major metropolitan areas as well as more remote locales. We also work with individuals who live abroad, and are looking to meet someone based in the United States.

    A lot of thought is put in to pairing you with the right Matchmaker. Your Matchmaker will have a well cultivated knowledge base about the market you are searching within. This includes awareness of geography, local sensibilities, current events, as well as recommendations for restaurants and dates.

Privacy FAQs

  • Privacy is the foundation of our service. Our clients and candidates lead busy professional and public lives. We place a premium on privacy and discretion. We guarantee that your personal information will never be shared outside the scope of the search. Only Selective Search employees have access to your information and your consent is required before sharing personal contact information with a potential match.

    Privacy Statement: Selective Search prides itself on its discrete, confidential relationships with clients and candidates. All personal information you share is kept in strict confidence and is for Selective Search’s internal use only. We do not collect or store your personal identifiable information on our website. We do not rent, share, sell member database mailing lists, or share information about visitors to third parties.

    If you would like to review our full privacy policy you can access it here.

  • We are equally as selective with our clients as we are with our candidates. Selective Search Matchmakers carefully screen and filter each individual before taking on a search or proceeding with a match.

    Selective Search prides itself on being safe and thorough. All of our clients and their matches are personally screened, interviewed and have undergone our reputation analysis process. This is a thorough examination of lifestyle and may include: a background check, a social media analysis, identity verification, personal home and/or an office visit to verify authenticity as well as identity.

Client FAQs

  • Many successful individuals find they have everything they could wish for in life except for what matters most: the love of an extraordinary partner. Successful people like you work with countless industry experts in other aspects of your life: be it a personal trainer, financial advisor, or a lawyer.

    It’s time to allow Selective Search to find the love of your life; because you’re single and you don’t want to compromise, and you shouldn’t have to. Selective Search honors your preferences and doesn’t judge them. We don’t consider it “picky” to have preferences about age, religion, ethnicity, education, physical appearance, lifestyle, values, personality type, or whatever may be important to you. It’s not a question of if we can find “the one” — it’s simply when would you like to meet them.

  • Clients are men and women who retain our services through a premium fee-based membership. Much like executive search, pricing is dynamic and considers the scope and complexity of each individual search. Selective Search works with clients through a defined contract. Each contract is for a finite number of introductions over a defined period of time. Introductions may be with other clients, from our candidate database, or recruited specifically for you from our extensive networks or through custom marketing efforts. Our concierge-caliber approach truly demonstrates that results are a function of investment. Selective Search clients don’t have trouble finding dates, they simply do not have the time to waste on dates without long-term potential.

  • Tomorrow is a promise to no one. The benefits of being in love include being healthier, happier and more successful.

    Spend your time falling in love, not searching for it.

  • Matchmakers are assigned to individuals once you’ve become a client.

    The information gathered during the Benchmark phase of the Meet Your Future process will determine the most appropriate Matchmaker for your search.

    A lot of thought is put in to pairing you with the right Matchmaker. Your Matchmaker will have a well cultivated knowledge about the market(s) you are searching within. This includes awareness of geography, local sensibilities, current events, as well as recommendations for restaurants and dates.

    They will be your exclusive guide throughout the process.

  • Selective Search works with individuals across the country. Our clients and candidates live in major metropolitan areas as well as more remote locales. We also work with individuals who live abroad, and are looking to meet someone based in the United States. A lot of thought is put in to pairing you with the right Matchmaker. Your Matchmaker will have a well cultivated knowledge base about the market you are searching within. This includes awareness of geography, local sensibilities, current events, as well as recommendations for restaurants and dates.

  • Selective Search puts a priority on quality over quantity when it comes to introducing you to a match. Every search is unique, as are the preferences of your potential match. We are constantly working with new individuals every day, as well as updating their search preferences. Selective Search takes the time to get to know you and your search before taking you on as client. We don’t take on every prospective search. We want to ensure that we understand the type of person you are looking to meet. Selective Search not only draws from our private candidate program, but also through public relations efforts, direct marketing, customized advertising, and corporate partnerships.

  • Your Matchmaker will present you with matches that meet the preferences indicated within your Benchmarks for Success. These presentations, which will be sent by email, include recent photos and pertinent details about the individual, as well as a personal evaluation from your Matchmaker. The details provided include personality indicators, physical appearance, how they present themselves, lifestyle, education, profession, religious and political affiliations, and interests. Their relationship history and goals will also be covered.

    Our goal is to present a comprehensive profile about your match, allowing you to feel as though you’ve already met them.

Candidate FAQs

  • Selective Search believes that being single doesn’t mean you have to compromise what you are looking for. Our staff of seasoned professionals have access to accomplished, commitment-minded men and women. As a candidate, you are eligible to be matched with Selective Search clients, and your profile is 100% confidential and 100% complimentary at all times. To honor your time and preferences, our staff will only contact you when we have a potential match in mind, and will always confirm your availability and interest prior to considering you for a match. With the candidate program, you have nothing to lose and the love of your life to gain!

  • Our candidate program is designed for high-caliber men and women who are ready for a long-term, committed relationship, but are not yet ready to invest in a client membership. This program is 100% complimentary – no fees to join and no fees to match. Upon completing a confidential profile, candidates are eligible to be matched with Selective Search clients. However, as a candidate, our Matchmakers will only reach out to you when they have identified a two-way fit with one of our clients. While we may not have a match for you right away, we are always working with new clients who may be the perfect match for you. As a Selective Search candidate, you have nothing to lose and the love of your life to gain.

  • You can privately register with our complimentary candidate program here. Alternatively, you may select "Candidate Program" from the Services Tab for further information about our candidate program. In order to register your profile, you will need to submit an active email address and create a unique password for your login credentials. Registering your profile is an easy 8 step process that takes about 30 minutes to complete. Your profile is complimentary and confidential at all times.

    To update an existing profile, select "Update Candidate Profile" in the website’s footer.

  • A candidate profile is not complete without a photo. Any profile received without a photo will not be eligible for a match. A complete profile stores up to 10 photos. Ideal profile photos include a headshot and multiple full length shots. If you submit a group photo, please be specific about your position or attire in the photo. Profile photos do not have to be professional, but they should be recent (taken within the past 6 months). Please avoid photos with hats or sunglasses. All uploaded photos must be in JPG format and the size must be less than 2 Megabytes (MB). Should you have difficulty uploading your photo(s), you can email them directly to candidate@selectivesearch.com, and they will be confidentially uploaded to your internal profile.

    If you do not have access to recent digital photos on your computer or phone, you may mail hard copies of recent photographs directly to our headquarters: Selective Search LLC ATTN: Selective Search Team, 35 E Wacker Dr., Suite 1920, Chicago, IL, 60601. If you would like the photos returned to you, please ensure you include a pre-stamped and addressed return envelope.

    Candidates are encouraged to update the photographs in their profile every six months to keep Matchmakers up to date with accurate representation of their lifestyle. You may update your photographs at any time by logging into your candidate profile, emailing the photographs to candidate@selectivesearch.com, or mailing the photographs to our office as directed above.

  • If you completed your profile and submitted photos at the same time, you will receive an email confirming receipt of both. If you do not receive this email, please check your spam folder. If you email your photos to us after you created your profile, you will receive a photo confirmation from our staff letting you know that we have updated your photos. Due to our confidentiality policy we are not able to confirm receipt of photos over the phone.

  • Upon submitting your candidate profile, you should receive a confirmation email from us to let you know that we have received your information. Sometimes spam filters intercept our email. Try checking the junk folder if you do not receive a confirmation. If it has gone to your spam or junk folder, ensure that you add us to your “safe senders” list so that you will receive any future communications from us. Feel free to contact us directly  at candidate@selectivesearch.com with any questions. Please keep in mind that due to our confidentiality policy, we cannot confirm receipt of your profile by phone.

    Once your profile is complete, you will be eligible to be matched with our clients. Our Matchmakers will review your profile, and reach out to you to schedule an interview if there is potential for a match. This may be immediate or further down the road. Much like an executive recruiter, there are no guarantees. However, you have nothing to lose and the love of your life to gain.

    Although our candidate program is free to join, Selective Search candidates are dedicated to making their love life a priority. We know that you understand there is a time and emotional investment involved in our process.

  • Timing is everything- in life, and in love. Once you have completed the registration of your candidate profile, we understand that your status, location, and availability can change. To honor your time and preferences, we will always confirm your availability directly, prior to conducting due diligence and determining long-term compatibility. Selective Search Matchmakers work collaboratively to identify the best candidate for a specific client. You may hear from multiple Selective Search employees via phone call, email, text message, or social media outreach. Rest assured, we will always keep you “top of mind” for anyone who may be a great fit.

  • As part of our Meet Your Future process, Selective Search’s matchmaking staff conducts personal interviews with candidates to determine a two-way fit. Additionally, you may be contacted by our team to provide further information about your status, lifestyle, preferences in a partner, or to provide recent photographs. Timely and accurate information will allow us to determine if the client we have in mind is the right match for you. While there is no guaranteed time-line, our expert Matchmakers put much due diligence into each search to honor your time and to ensure a great two-way fit.

    Upon completion of an interview, we will utilize the information shared to ascertain if the match we have in mind is congruent with your interests. We will follow up with you if we believe in the potential of a match, to share further information about the individual we have in mind. If upon revision of your information, our Matchmakers do not determine a great two-way fit, we will keep you top of mind and work collaboratively to consider you for the right match

  • Your Matchmaker will present you with clients that meet the preferences indicated within your initial profile and from any additional screening. These presentations will be sent by email and may include recent photo(s). Due to confidentiality, at the request of our clients we may not be able to present a photo. These presentations detail a potential match’s lifestyle, education, profession, interests, as well as religious and political affiliations. Our interviews and presentations will also cover the client’s relationship history, detail their goals for a new relationship, as well as personal evaluations from your Matchmaker regarding their physical appearance, personality indicators, and how they present themselves.

    Our goal is to present a comprehensive profile about your match, allowing you to feel as though you’ve already met them.

  • Click the “Update Candidate Profile” button in the website’s footer. Enter your email address. Select “I have signed up before and my password is.” Select “Next.”

  • Click the “Update Candidate Profile” button in the footer of the website. Enter your email address. Select “I have signed up before and lost my password. Please email it to me.” Select “Next.” A new password will be sent to your email within a few minutes.